🥤 THE OFFICIAL STRAW HOLE DEBATE WEBSITE 🥤
ESTD. 2003 · BEST VIEWED IN INTERNET EXPLORER 6 · 800x600 RESOLUTION
🌋 THE DEBATE OF THE MILLENNIUM 🌋
🥤
A straw. You use it every day. You've never thought about it.
BUT HOW MANY HOLES DOES IT HAVE????
⚠️ YOUR ANSWER WILL DEFINE YOU AS A HUMAN BEING ⚠️
📚 FACTS ABOUT STRAWS (unverified)
> The word "straw" comes from the ancient Latin word "strawus" meaning "tube thing".
[THIS IS PROBABLY NOT TRUE]
> Scientists estimate there are between 4 and 7 holes in a straw.
[SCIENTISTS HAVE NOT ESTIMATED THIS]
> A straw made of other straws has exponentially more holes.
[MATHEMATICALLY TERRIFYING]
> The Pope has never publicly stated how many holes a straw has.
[VERIFIED FACT]
> If you unroll a straw it is just a rectangle.
[ACTUALLY TRUE, PROBABLY]
> Dolphins cannot use straws because they have no hands.
[CITATION: common sense]
> A straw is just a smaller pipe. Pipes have holes. HOLES.
[GETTING PHILOSOPHICAL]
📊 EXPERT OPINIONS TABLE (experts not verified)
| Expert | Their Answer | Credibility | Are They OK? |
|---|---|---|---|
| My uncle Dave | 1 hole (he was eating cereal when asked) | ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | Debatable |
| A pigeon I saw | No answer (flew away) | ⭐ | Unknown |
| Philosophy Professor | What even IS a hole | ⭐⭐⭐ | No |
| My 6-year-old cousin | 2 holes, also she wants a juice box | ⭐⭐⭐⭐ | Yes (she's 6) |
| ChatGPT | Depends on your definition of "hole" | ⭐⭐ | It's an AI |
| God (unconfirmed) | Stop asking me this | ∞ | Presumably |
🧠 FIND OUT WHAT YOUR STRAW OPINION SAYS ABOUT YOUR SOUL
Q1: How do you drink from a straw?
Q2: When you think of a straw, what colour do you see?
🚧 COMING SOON 🚧
FEATURES IN DEVELOPMENT (since 2003):
✗ Straw hole calculator
✗ Live straw cam (camera broken)
✗ Multiplayer straw debate arena
✗ NFT of a straw with 1 hole
✗ NFT of a straw with 2 holes
✗ Forum (deleted due to arguing)
✗ Mobile version (maybe 2027)
✗ Dark mode (straws don't have dark mode)
📖 SIGN THE GUESTBOOK (it's 2003 again!)
⚙️ CALCULATE THE ANSWER (processing)
Click the button to use our PATENTED HOLE-COUNTING ALGORITHM™
(v4.2.1 — last updated: never)